"Aw Come On, Why Should I Help If China and India Aren't?"

Seth Borenstein, Knight Ridder's Environment and Science Correspondent, was on yesterday morning's Washington Journal talking about the Kyoto Treaty and global warming. You can watch the whole thing here. Or, if you don't have 20 minutes to spare you can just watch this highlight, where he sums up the most upsetting data. Finally, if you don't even have time for that and just want the lowdown, you can check out this crash course in global warming.

Today's song of the day is "Carbon Monoxide" from the album Pressure Chief, by the band Cake. "Fresh Air," by Quicksilver Messenger Service was also in the running (you can listen to that here).

Quote of the Day:

"I’m not going to let the US carry the burden for cleaning up the world’s air, like the Kyoto Protocol would have done. China and India were exempted from that treaty."
- George W. Bush

To me, that's like if you're a bodybuilder on a cruise ship that's sinking, and someone asks you to bail out water with a bigger bucket than other people are using, and you say, "What about Lou and Bruno over there? They're pretty big, and they're using regular buckets. Screw this, I'm going to play shuffleboard."

Right after Bush said that line (the "Kyoto Protocol" one, not the "shuffleboard" one) in the 2000 Presidential debate at Wake Forest he went on to say that 99 Senators voted against joining the Kyoto accord. So I guess it's not fair to act like this whole thing is Bush's fault. Fine, shame on all of them.

Internet Link of the Day! Bless Yourself / Proof God Exists

Treat yourself to this discussion from the "Secular Lifestyle" forum of a web page for people who don't believe in god. The topic in question is what to do when someone sneezes, since saying "God Bless You" is an unappealing option to these people, or at least to "Vinnie," who started the conversation.

Speaking of whom, I can't help but find it comical that out there in the world is an athiest named Vinnie who gets angry whenever someone sneezes. Also, I'll sleep easier knowing that somewhere out there is an athiest who refers to themself as "Texas Rose."

If there isn't a god then who filled the internet with these gems? Because it's chock full of them, that's for sure. Which leads me to what Thomas Aquinas referred to as "The Vinnie Proof" for the existence of god. Obviously, since this was written over 700 years ago this was written about a different Vinnie, but I think it's still as meaningful today as it was back then...

The Vinnie Proof

I. If there isn't a god then human beings are purely biological creatures (as opposed to partly spiritual creatures).

II. If humans are purely biological creatures they are ultimately interested in nothing but the survival of their genes.

III. I'm interested in Vinnie the Grumpy Italian Athiest, and the very thought of him scowling at someone who has just sneezed makes me feel happy to be alive.

IV. Therefore, since I'm genuinely interested in something which most certainly does nothing to increase the chances of the survival of my genes, I'm not a purely biological creature. Therefore, I am partly a spiritual creature.

V. If part of my existence is spiritual, there must exist a non-biological part of the universe.

VIN. Since biological means "related to how life operates according to the laws of physics," non-biological must mean "related to a force unrestricted by the laws of physics."

VIINI. Any force unrestricted by the laws of physics is God.

VINNIE. Therefore, since a force exists which is unrestricted by the laws of physics, God exists.

Thomas Aquinas, 1274 (Terracina, Italy)

(Today's song of the day is "Friends Like You, Who Needs Friends" from the soundtrack to Rushmore. I thought the organ fit the religious theme.)

Valentine's Day Troubleshooting at Comp USA

Yesterday I went to Comp USA to trade in a digital camera because a couple of the pixels weren't working. It was raining. I pulled into the parking lot at about 8:30 pm and the place was dead. There were maybe 3 cars in the whole parking lot. So I pull my car up to a guy smoking a cigarette outside the entrance and ask him if the store is still open. He says, "Yup, we're open 'til nine."

I park and head into the store, shielding the camera box from the rain, and just before I head inside the cigarette guy says, "Is it a return?" I say, "Yeah." He says, "You might as well show it to me now, I'm the return guy." So I hand it to him and he flicks his cigarette into the parking lot, looking at the box as he turns it around in his hands. It's about then that I realize this guy isn't wearing anything that would indicate that he works at Comp USA. He is wearing all black, the sides of his head are shaved, and the long hair on top of his head is pulled back into a pony tail. But just as I start to imagine him running off with the camera and peeling rubber in his black Camero (that's the kind of car I imagine someone pulling a heist like this would drive), he bolts inside and heads behind the returns/repair desk.

He opens the box in a flash and starts pulling handfuls of manuals and wires out of it. "Well you definitely didn't forget anything," he says, "look at all this crap." I thought that was pretty funny, that instead of going down a checklist of the items that were supposed to be in the box, the fact that the box appeared to be filled with lots of stuff was sufficient. I can imagine him sitting in the Comp USA repair training seminar, scribbling copious notes while the regional training director says, "Remember, it's absolutely crucial to open the return item box and make sure it's filled with a fair amount of crap. Comp USA loses millions of dollars every year as a result of employees approving the return of items without much crap in the box."

Then the guy asks me what the problem is and I tell him about the broken pixels. Without hesitating a moment he says, "Let's check it out," whips out the camera, and, before I even realize what is going on, snaps this picture of himself.

Hahah, it still cracks me up just thinking about it. For a lot of reasons... One, it's funny that the first thing that comes to his mind when taking a throwaway picture is to flip the bird. It was completely automatic for him, as if there was no other way to test a camera and that taking a picture without him flipping the bird wouldn't be anywhere near as effective at helping to figure out what was wrong with the camera. Two, it's funny that he would do that in the middle of the store, right in front of a customer no less. It makes me think that somehow I must exude the kind of aura that makes customer service people feel completely at home. (That's me on the left in the picture, by the way.) Some people might see that as a lack of respect, but I think it's kind of flattering. I mean, imagine when some 50 year old man in a business suit comes in with a camera problem and this Comp USA guy has to just take a picture of his hand or something, or walk into a back room to take a bird-flipping picture in private. Not me, though. I walk into Comp USA and the returns guy feels like he's in his own living room with an old friend.

On a side note, I don't want to give the impression that this guy was some punk who didn't care about helping me out. On the contrary, he was actually very helpful and patient, which is all the more impressive considering he was in the middle of trying to win $20 based on how fast he could install Windows on a computer. So, in honer of the bird-flipping, all-black-wearing, gambling-on-software-installation Comp USA repair guy, today's song of the day is Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. (Picture him driving home in his black Camero, listing to his tape of this album, thinking that the lyrics are about technology troubleshooting.)

MADE UP QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"A lot of people don't realize that I came up with the idea for Nothing Else Matters while reinstalling Windows Millenium on the tour bus Dell Pentium IV. When I say 'so close, no matter how far,' I'm talking about how maintaining a stable operating system always seems to be 128 megabytes of RAM away."
- James Hetfield, Lead Singer of Metallica

REAL QUOTE OF THE DAY:

ME (as I'm leaving the store): Sorry if I hurt your chances at winning your Windows installation bet.
THE COMP USA GUY: Hey, no problem, that camera was the best return of the whole day.

This Train is Bound for Coronaries / Late Night Social Security Fireworks

I stumbled across this place in New Jersey that ships Pork Rolls, aka Taylor Ham, to anywhere in the United States. If you aren't familiar with this Jersey treasure, this New York Times article will fill in the details.

(Today's song of the day is Voluntary Hospital Escape by Mark Mothersbaugh, from the movie Bottle Rocket. I imagine that it's the type of music you would hear over the PA system while riding the Pork Roll Xpress.)

You also might want to check out Hometown-Treats: You're Home Away From Home. They ship local snacks that dislocated people can't find in their new surroundings. Awesome.

Last night at 2 in the morning I watched some of a house committee hearing with John Snow, the Treasury Secretary. Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones (I'd link to her web site but it will be more fun for you to google "Tubbs" and "representative"), Dem from Ohio, was really tearing into him. It was the most exciting thing I have ever seen that had to do with social security.

At one point, Snow was like, "Shut up!" and Tubbs was all, "No way, you shut up!" and then Snow was like, "Talk to the hand, Tubbsy." Not really, but trust me, there was tension in the air. As soon as they put that hearing on the C-SPAN web site I'm going to post some audio clips from it. It was some spicy stuff. Rep. Tubbs Jones is a sparkplug.

How is the larger font treating you? I figure, why not, right?

Also, check out this C-SPAN Radio blog.

Quote of the Day:

"Their dad was sick and dying of cancer, and all he wanted was a Taylor Ham sandwich. We got it out to him right away."
- Donna Beers

The Life Aquatic / Today in Virginia Legislative Affairs

I watched The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou a couple of days ago and I thought it was great. A lot of people told me that it wasn't that good, but my brother said it was amazing and I wholeheartedly agree. I thought it was funny, beautiful to look at, with a good plot, a great soundrack (today's song of the day is Life on Mars, by Seu Jorge), and plus, Bill Murray is on center stage, with a great script. What's not to love? I can't wait to watch it again.

Brian Lamb was hosting Washington Journal this morning and the segment I caught was about the possibility of making the Bush tax cuts permanent. Lamb was underlining an editorial in the Wall Street Journal saying that making them permanent is going to be difficult because of opposition from moderate and New England Republicans. Of the 10 or so callers I watched, not a single one, Democrat or Republican, wanted to make the cuts permanent. I think most people realize that there is something misguided about cutting taxes during a war.

This is from House Bill No. 2921 from the Virginia House of Representatives, a bill about adoption:

"The investigation requested by the circuit court shall include, in addition to other inquiries that the circuit court may require the child-placing agency or local director to make, inquiries as to... whether the petitioner is known to engage in current voluntary homosexual activity or is unmarried and cohabiting with another adult to whom he is not related by blood or marriage..."

Current?

"Hey Frank, how did your adoption hearing go?"
"Well, obviously, my lavender vest raised a few eyebrows, but luckily all my homosexual activity is woefully out-of-date. I mentioned a move I learned from Richard Simmons at the '76 Jazzercize Conference and they approved me on the spot. "

"Honey, It's the State of the Union Address Tonight... Have You Seen My Longsleeve Tesla Shirt?"

song of the day:

I've decided to put the song of the day within each day's post. That way I can choose an ambience that will remain with that particar post for all of eternity. Plus, when people are skipping from post to post they can play the song of that particular day while reading that day's post. (And by "people" I mean me and my dad.)

I think I am going to take the state of the union address and put it to music. Stay tuned. Did the Wall Street Journal link work? Anyone? The only response I got was "Inhofe got mad skills!" which is hysterical, and exactly the kind of dialogue I'm looking to spark here, but it didn't answer my question about the Journal link.

Also, you don't really notice how pointy a blazer makes your shoulders look until you have to Photoshop one to look like a Tesla t-shirt.

Wall Street Journal Article of the Day:

Promises in State of the Union
Sometimes Fly, Sometimes Flop

Success, Failure Depend in Large Part
On Congress, Elections, Priority Shifts

By TIM ANNETT
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL ONLINE
January 31, 2005 8:41 p.m.

Presidents are constitutionally required to deliver to Congress their appraisal of the nation's health and well-being once a year. But the State of the Union address is rarely a mere survey of current conditions. It has become a president's primary device for laying out his agenda to the American people.

President Bush, like his predecessors, stuffed each address of his first term with a sprawling array of programs, initiatives, spending packages, tax cuts and other policy baubles. Some captured the imagination of citizens, others were soon forgotten by electorate and administration alike (remember that vow last year to explore Mars?). Mr. Bush has given three State of the Union addresses; in 2001, shortly after his first inauguration, he addressed Congress in a budget speech that served much the same purpose.

As Mr. Bush prepares to make the first State of the Union speech of his second term, The Wall Street Journal Online took a look back at some of the vows -- both memorable and obscure -- that the president made in each of his first four speeches, and whether they made it from the rostrum to reality.

* * *
2001: Education, taxes and faith

On education: "Children should be tested on basic reading and math skills every year between grades three and eight. Measuring is the only way to know whether all our children are learning. And I want to know, because I refuse to leave any child behind in America."

The president's No Child Left Behind plan, which relies heavily on standardized testing to measure the performance of both students and schools, became law in 2002. The legislation mandated that annual report cards be issued for schools, and that those that don't measure up provide supplemental services like tutoring programs. Parents of children at underperforming schools also have the right to transfer their children to a better school in their district. States and school districts have greater flexibility in how they spend education funds. Mr. Bush recently announced a $1.5 billion "intervention fund" to improve high-school learning and graduation rates, and to extend No Child Left Behind standardized testing to high-school students. The president hasn't said whether he'd ask for new money for the proposal or seek to divert money from other education spending.


On estate taxes: "It's not fair to tax the same earnings twice -- once when you earn them, and again when you die -- so we must repeal the death tax."

The "death tax" -- or federal estate tax -- has been a perennial target of Republican ire. The president has been successful in reducing the estate tax, but it seems that even with Republicans in control of both houses of Congress, total repeal is unlikely. The White House can't count on lobbying muscle from the super-rich: Many of the very wealthiest Americans whose families would benefit greatly from the vanquishing of the estate tax don't support repeal, including investment guru Warren Buffett, who says untaxed inheritances would create an "aristocracy of wealth." But some form of compromise with Democrats may have a better chance of getting passed in Mr. Bush's second term. One proposal that might pass bipartisan muster would eliminate the tax for all but the very largest estates.

On faith-based initiatives: "My budget adopts a hopeful new approach to help the poor and the disadvantaged. We must encourage and support the work of charities and faith-based and community groups that offer help and love one person at a time."

Mr. Bush's emphasis on "faith-based initiatives" was one of the major flashpoints of his first 100 days in office. Many civil libertarians and even some religious leaders called his plans a breach of the church-state divide, while conservatives embraced the idea of farming out expensive social programs to churches. John DiIulio Jr., an early leader of the president's faith program, argued in an op-ed in The Wall Street Journal that failure to support faith-based initiatives in the war on poverty was tantamount to ignoring the 14th Amendment's equal-protection clause. Congress scuttled Mr. Bush's most ambitious faith-based plans, but the president did open a "compassion capital fund" to bankroll some initiatives. The issue has receded from the spotlight recently, but the emphasis on "values" cited by many voters in the 2004 election could give faith-based programs new prominence.

* * *
2002: Defense, energy and trade

On defense: "We will work closely with our coalition to deny terrorists and their state sponsors the materials, technology, and expertise to make and deliver weapons of mass destruction. We will develop and deploy effective missile defenses to protect America and our allies from sudden attack."

The Bush administration decided to invade Iraq because of perceived threat represented by Saddam Hussein's stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction. But those weapons haven't materialized and the U.S. has officially called off the search. Libya voluntarily disarmed and a black-market ring for nuclear materials headed up by a former top Pakistani scientist was broken up, but other successes have proved harder to come by. Iran's nuclear capabilities -- and what the Bush administration might do about them -- have been the subject of feverish speculation, and the U.S. is wary of North Korea's nuclear intentions. Missile defense remains a touchy subject. Many critics don't see the need for it, calling the program a vestige of the Cold War that should be mothballed to beef up spending on other more pressing defense and homeland-security needs.


On energy sources: "Good jobs also depend on reliable and affordable energy. This Congress must act to encourage conservation, promote technology, build infrastructure, and it must act to increase energy production at home so America is less dependent on foreign oil."

America has done little to decrease its reliance on foreign oil: According to the Commerce Department's most recent report on international trade flows, the volume of crude-oil imports increased to 326.48 million barrels in November from 315.81 million the previous month, contributing to the massive U.S. trade deficit. Energy prices soared during Mr. Bush's first term, and though oil futures prices have ebbed somewhat, soaring energy costs have eroded corporate profits and consumers' purchasing power. In the meantime, conservation efforts have foundered. The president's push for fuel-cell research has stalled even as hybrid cars become more popular.

On trade: "Good jobs depend on expanded trade. Selling into new markets creates new jobs, so I ask Congress to finally approve trade-promotion authority."

Though Mr. Bush won back trade-promotion authority, which gives the president greater power in negotiating agreements, his record on trade has been mixed. A package of steel tariffs designed to protect U.S. producers from foreign competitors drew criticism both inside and outside the administration and was eventually rolled back. The generous subsidies the U.S. gives its farmers have proved to be a big sticking point in international trade talks. Meanwhile, the president has sent mixed signals on the question of offshoring. During the presidential campaign, he proclaimed his eagerness to protect American jobs and muzzled a top economic adviser who suggested that the outsourcing of jobs overseas was a long-term net positive for the U.S. But he also has repeatedly called for open markets.

* * *
2003: Health care, AIDS and the environment

On AIDS in Africa: "I ask the Congress to commit $15 billion over the next five years, including nearly $10 billion in new money, to turn the tide against AIDS in the most afflicted nations of Africa and the Caribbean."

Mr. Bush won Congress's rhetorical support for his AIDS initiative but squabbling about specifics quickly ensued, which means that funding has so far fallen short of the president's initial proposal. U.S. AIDS funding increased a total of $2 billion over fiscal years 2004-05, and Mr. Bush is proposing an additional $1.6 billion increase for 2006. That still would leave him to find another $6.4 billion to meet his pledge. But spending levels will be a hot topic as the U.S. is trying to reduce its massive deficits. What's more, despite the World Health Organization's endorsement of cheaper generic AIDS drugs manufactured in India, the Bush administration won't buy them on grounds that they violate U.S. patents. That drives up the program's costs -- the U.S. is paying twice as much for many of the drugs as other international aid groups are, according to the Government Accountability Office -- and means whatever AIDS funds are ultimately approved by Congress won't stretch as far as many would wish.


On health care: "Health-care reform must begin with Medicare; Medicare is the binding commitment of a caring society. We must renew that commitment by giving seniors access to preventive medicine and new drugs that are transforming health care in America. My budget will commit an additional $400 billion over the next decade to reform and strengthen Medicare."

Congress passed the huge Medicare prescription-drug benefit in 2003 but the legislation represented the biggest expansion of a federal entitlement program in a generation and will be considerably more expensive than originally estimated. The voluntary benefit, which goes into effect on Jan. 1, 2006, will cover the prescription-drug expenses of some 11 million low-income elderly and disabled Americans. Many economists caution that Medicare and Medicaid present an even more serious threat to the country's long-term economic well-being than Social Security. The Government Accountability Office estimates that the U.S. Medicare bill will hit $28 trillion over the next 75 years.

On the environment: "I have sent you Clear Skies legislation that mandates a 70 percent cut in air pollution from power plants over the next 15 years. I have sent you a Healthy Forests Initiative, to help prevent the catastrophic fires that devastate communities, kill wildlife, and burn away millions of acres of treasured forest."

The Clear Skies legislation died in Congress last year. It's been reported that Mr. Bush, eager nonetheless to push through some kind of change in air-pollution rules, has been considering enacting the Clear Skies provisions by executive order. But that has energy companies wary of extended legal fights nervous -- most executives would prefer a legislative solution. Some Republicans in the business community have also tried to distance themselves from efforts to roll back clean-air rules and the Endangered Species Act. Meanwhile, liberal critics have mocked the Clear Skies plan, calling it patronage for Bush campaign fundraisers in the energy business and a loosening of pollution regulations. The Healthy Forests Act passed in 2003.

* * *
2004: Patriot Act, budget and gay marriage

On the Patriot Act: "Key provisions of the Patriot Act are set to expire next year. The terrorist threat will not expire on that schedule. Our law enforcement needs this vital legislation to protect our citizens. You need to renew the Patriot Act."

The Patriot Act was a big issue in the 2004 election season -- and as such, little legislative headway was made in renewing it. However, many moderate Democrats, including Sen. John Kerry, have been quietly supportive of most of its provisions and favor renewal with only modest changes. The nomination of Michael Chertoff, a big supporter of the Patriot Act the first time around, to lead the Department of Homeland Security may also help push renewal over the hump. Mr. Bush could see results here: The president is still perceived by many voters as a strong leader in the war on terror, and homeland security is an area where he has deep reserves of political capital. Many lawmakers could be wary of running afoul of voters loyal to the president if the war of terrorism remains a central issue going into the midterm elections in 2006.


On the budget: "In two weeks, I will send you a budget that funds the war, protects the homeland, and meets important domestic needs, while limiting the growth in discretionary spending to less than four percent."

The federal budget will be the primary chess board for Mr. Bush's second term (his spending proposals for the coming fiscal year will be submitted to Congress next week). In Mr. Bush's first two years as president, domestic spending, not including defense and entitlement programs such as Social Security and Medicare, grew roughly 10% annually. It expanded 6.4% in his third year. If the president is to cut the gaping deficit in half, as he has promised, spending will need to be curtailed. If economic growth is solid, Iraq takes a turn for the better and Congress curbs its appetite for pork, the deficit could shrink substantially. But the president's desire to head off what he says is an imminent crisis in Social Security, along with the rollout of Medicare's pricey new prescription-drug benefit, could keep the U.S. swimming in red ink for a good while.

On gay marriage: "Activist judges … have begun redefining marriage by court order, without regard for the will of the people and their elected representatives. On an issue of such great consequence, the people's voice must be heard. If judges insist on forcing their arbitrary will upon the people, the only alternative left to the people would be the constitutional process. Our nation must defend the sanctity of marriage."

Gay marriage was a cultural flashpoint of the 2004 election, and these lines were manna for Mr. Bush's socially conservative base. But the issue has received scant attention since November. Indeed, White House backing for a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage could be a dead letter. Some prominent Republicans have made it known that they don't support amending the Constitution, and many states have already passed ballot measures limiting the definition of marriage, making the need for a federal amendment less urgent in the eyes of many conservatives. Furthermore, the president will likely want to keep his powder dry for bigger looming fights on Social Security and overhauling the tax code.

Write to Tim Annett at tim.annett@wsj.com

Props to Lincoln Chafee / Test to See If I Can Post Free Links to the Wall Street Journal

If you click here does it take you to an article at the Wall Street Journal about the "Clear Skies" bill? Please post a comment to let me know whether the link works. In case it doesn't here is the article:


Unusual Maneuver May Break
Deadlock on 'Clear Skies' Bill

By JOHN J. FIALKA
Staff Reporter of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
February 2, 2005; Page B2

Facing a 9-9 deadlock in the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee, Republicans are threatening a legislative maneuver that will take President Bush's "Clear Skies" proposal directly to the Senate floor where they claim to have the votes to pass it.

The bill, which would cut power-plant emissions of sulfur dioxide, nitrogen oxides and mercury by as much as 70% over the next 13 years, is opposed by Democrats. They want to further tighten limits and add regulation of carbon-dioxide emissions.

The deadlock has been caused by Sen. Lincoln D. Chafee (R., R.I.), who has said he will vote with the panel's eight Democrats to add carbon dioxide to the bill. A tie vote would mean the panel couldn't report the measure to the floor.

As a "last resort" to break the deadlock, Chairman James M. Inhofe will use a Senate procedure called Rule 14 to remove the bill from the panel and complete it on the Senate floor, said Andrew Wheeler, majority staff director for the committee.

Stephen Hourahan, a spokesman for Sen. Chafee, said the senator prefers to keep the debate within the committee and is "working to convince other Republican members to support him."

Three years ago, Senate Democrats used Rule 14 to move an energy bill to the Senate floor. The resulting debate on the complex measure lasted for weeks before the bill finally died.

Environmental groups oppose the Clear Skies legislation, but James L. Connaughton, chairman of the White House Council on Environmental Quality, said utilities, unions and many county and state officials support it because it will help many communities meet pending air regulations. He said it will also generate a $50 billion market for new equipment to control air pollution, and jobs to manufacture and install it.

Check out the official picture of Lincoln Chafee at his .gov web site. It's a little small but you can make out the gist of what he looks like.

Picture of the Day! Who is the HoJo of the 109th Congress?

I was cleaning out the bureau in my room and I stumbled across my beloved copy of the November, 1989 Baseball Digest: Baseball's Only Monthly Magazine. What a masterpiece. 1) Hojo, one of my all-time favorite Mets and an honored member of the 30-30 club, is on the cover, 2) you can see a blurry Keith Hernandez in the background, and 3) all three headlines are amazing.

If only there was a monthly politics magazine with headlines half as good as "Up-the-Middle Defense: An Overlooked Pennant Factor." Then it would be easier for people to get excited about politics. Picture "The D.C. Digest" with Education Secretary Margaret Spellings on the cover pointing an angry finger at Buster Baxter, PBS's pro-lesbian cartoon rabbit, while a blurry Orrin Hatch stands in the dugout with a Keith Hernandez-style mustache. Meanwhile, spicy minor headlines pepper the rest of the cover, like "10 Classic Philabusters You May Have Overlooked" and "Omnibusted! How to Monitor Oversized Legislative Bills."

If anyone can guess 7 of the 15 most dramatic (pre-1989) home runs in big league history I'll send you all of my back issues of Stereo Review or my ALF sleeping bag, your pick.

Factoid of the Day! Welcome to France, Can I Take Your Order?

The president of France, Jacque Chirac, used to work at a Howard Johnson Restaurant in Boston. I would love to see a chart of which world leaders, both current and historical, have worked at a menial job.

GRE Words of the Day! Mendacious, Pusillanimous, Penurious, Mettle, and Consonant

I just took a GRE practice test and these are the words I didn't know. If you click on the word to the left of the colon it will take you to the definition; if you click on the word in the sentence it will take you to a picture I found by typing the word into google image search.

mendacious: It would seem that the good people at stentorian.com find Bill Clinton to be mendacious.

pusillanimous: On the other hand, the folks at novakeo.com find Bush to be pusillanimous when it comes to dealing with corporations.

penurious: Nevertheless, John Franco has them both beat when it comes to being penurious about giving up hits.

mettle: Artist Richard Krause has them all beat, displaying mettle in his paintings and his puns.

consonant: But despite their differences, Bush, Clinton, Franco, and Krause are all part of the flow of the universe, just as in this zen painting chaos is consonant with form.

Brian Lamb Interviews George Bush! / The Old Country Buffet Era

What a banner day in the world of C-SPAN fandom! Bush was interviewed by Brian Lamb for Q & A, C-SPAN's Sunday night interview show, but you can already watch it online if you just can't wait.

If you are looking for insights into the complex political genius of George Bush, this interview won't really do much for you. But, if you are fascinated by the way Bush has somehow been able to charm 51% of Americans into voting for him, despite his obvious incompetence when it comes to talking intelligently about political issues, this interview is for you.

Juxtaposed with Brian Lamb's serious manner and love of books, Bush comes off as goofy and inarticulate as ever. With each passing question he looks more and more like Dennis the Menace being grilled by Mr. Wilson.

At one point Lamb asks Bush what he watches when he watches television. Bush says "I really don't watch much TV...Of course C-SPAN, what am I thinking?" Look at his gesture here when he says that (sorry no audio):



That "I'm such an idiot" gesture is right out of Chris Farley's playbook. Can you imagine any other president in our history doing that? And who would have thought that someone with that kind of schtick could ever be a viable presidential candidate?


(from the Chris Farley Picture Gallery

While liberals may hate to admit it, Bush's cluelessness has a certain charm about it and that's a large part of why he beat John Kerry. Smart people act like they know everything, and they say all kinds of confusing things; between the arrogance and the fancy words, people don't know what to believe. Bush, on the other hand, acts like he barely knows anything, and like it or not, that inspires people to trust him. People tend to trust what they can understand.

In sum, when the nation is evenly split on political issues (like it is now) charm is the deciding factor. Therefore, I believe we have entered the era of the "Old Country Buffet" President. (If you've never been to Old Country Buffett, think Sizzler but not so fancy.) The question, "Which candidate would you rather have a beer with?" is outdated; Bush doesn't even drink.

When you ask yourself, "Which candidate would you rather go to Old Country Buffet with?" I think you have a pretty good guage of who will win the presidency. Take a look:

Who would you/the American people rather go to Old Country Buffet with?

04 Bush Kerry..........Answer: Bush
00 Bush Gore...........Answer: Bush
96 Clinton Dole........Answer: Clinton
92 Clinton Bush........Answer: Clinton
88 Bush Dukakis.......Answer: Bush
84 Reagan Mondale...Answer: Reagan?
80 Reagan Carter.......Answer: Reagan
76 Carter Ford...........Answer: Carter
72 Nixon McGovern...Answer: ??

I think it works all the way back to 1976, but I don't know anything about the dynamic of Nixon vs. McGovern so I won't even hazard a guess. Also, I don't know what Mondale was like so I'm just assuming that Reagan out Old Country Buffeted him because I imagine that Reagan could outcharm almost anyone. But when you look at the last four elections, that's when you are really getting into the meaty part of the Old Country Buffet Era. Bush and Clinton both possess an unmistakable "down home charm" charm that made all four of their opponents look relatively stiff and uptight.

Picture of the Day: "Hello Sears? I Need Something Somber, Yet Comfortable"

The Washington Post blew the lid off this story about Dick Cheney wearing his "snow blower" clothes to the Auschwitz Memorial. But that's just how Cheney operates, it's nothing personal. "Business casual" is his middle name. Remember last year when he wore his Buffalo Bills Zubaz pants to a cabinet meeting?

An Excellent Anonymous Comment

Yesterday's post about the levity during Bush's press conference drew this response...

Dan,

The President's attitude is indicative of this whole war - most of us have no connection to it (we don't have any soldiers in our family or circle of friends). Pres. Bush may mourn the lives lost today, but he has no personal attachment to these soldiers.

....

I think that's such a poignant statement, especially because it points out that "most of us" are in the same boat as Bush, forgetful of the seriousness of the warbecause we don't have any close ties to the people losing their lives. And the blame goes both ways. Bush is able to get away with treating this war lightly because American citizens don't hold his feet to the fire and tell him to stop kidding around. Conversely, Americans take this war less seriously than they should because the whole Bush administration approach is to act like everything is going perfectly.

But let's face it, this whole war was a giant mistake. The reasons that led us to start it turned out to be false. And now that we're there we're having a pretty rough time. That's not to say we aren't making progress, but more Americans are dying than anyone expected, so it's fair to say things are rough.

To which Bush says: "The world is a safer place without Saddam Hussein in power." But that isn't the question! There are hundreds of leaders in the world that put the security of the US at risk, from Prime Ministers to Warlords to Priests. The real question is: Was taking out this particlar leader a task worthy of 1400+ lives? And the answer to that is no. You have to think, what would the American people have said if that's how this whole thing was presented to them at the beginning. "Are you willing to have 1400 soldiers die in order to take out Saddam Hussein?"

And that is why Bush has decided to change the central goal of his administration from a practical one to an idealistic one, from American security to freedom.

Before Bush's inauguration speech, those soldiers had died because of a questionable policy decision. But according to the new agenda they died for "freedom," which is a lot easier for Americans to swallow.

But Bush knows he can't put the "freedom" of citizens around the world ahead of American security, so he says that American security depends on freedom around the world. Which is hogwash.

American security depends on preventing nuclear weapons from getting into the wrong hands, and that means that America will have to win the cooperation of some shady leaders and tyrannical regimes (like Iran and North Korea), not overthrow them. But talking about negotiating with tyrannical regimes doesn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy the way talking about freedom and liberty does.

Just to play devils advocate, it is possible that our invasion of Iraq has given us more leverage in negotiating with Iran and North Korea. I don't know enough about foreign relations to comment on that, but I'll allow that it's possible.

Still, these conclusions remain firm:

1) Even if the world is a better place without Saddam Hussein in power, that does not mean that Bush made the "right decision." It just means things may work out despite his mistake. If I'm a quarterback and I throw an interception, and then the guy who intercepted the pass fumbles, and then my team recovers and runs for a touchdown, that doesn't mean I might the "right decision" when I passed the ball.

2) The idea of freeing the world from tyranny is ridiculous. Bush's job is to keep Americans safe; sometimes that may mean overthrowing a tyrant, sometimes that may mean negotiating with one.

3) Bush needs to wipe that smirk off his face. Save the antics for Air Force One and the golf course.

Picture of the Day: Ground Control to Major Tom

A picture from the C-SPAN web page this morning, where I was watching streaming video of Bush's press conference...

1/26/05 Bush Press Conference: 5 chuckles, 5 laughters, 2 laughs, and 1 scattered laughter

I was dismayed by the light-hearted tone of this conference, given the fact that at least 36 American soldiers have died in the last 24 hours, more than any other day of the war. And despite this, Bush was cracking one-liners and ribbing the White House Press Corps like he always does. It just doesn't seem appropriate today.

So you can get a sense of what I mean, here are excerpts from the transcript of President Bush's news conference (as recorded by Federal News Service Inc.). I cut and pasted every line where there was chuckling or laughter:

"...I don't know the facts -- (chuckles)."

"Q (Laughs.)"

"PRESIDENT BUSH: (Chuckles.)"

"PRESIDENT BUSH: Is that your question? The answer is no. Next? (Laughter.)"

"PRESIDENT BUSH: (Chuckles.)"

"Q (Chuckles.)"

"Q He, sir. (Scattered laughter.)"

"PRESIDENT BUSH: He. Excuse me. Should have done the background check. (Laughter.)"

"PRESIDENT BUSH: (Chuckles.)"

"PRESIDENT BUSH: (Laughs.) Glad to have you here. (Laughter.)"

"PRESIDENT BUSH: Acting like one, however. Go ahead. (Laughter.)"

"PRESIDENT BUSH: Faulty memory. (Laughter.)"


And I'm not saying that Bush is evil or doesn't care about what happened today, I'm just saying that my ideal president would not be cracking jokes during a press conference on a day like today. And don't get me wrong, I appreciate Bush's desire to convey a sense of optimism. But what Americans needed from their leader today was a serious, somber optimimism; what they got was a jokey, nonchalant optimism. Even Bush's specific reference to the helicopter crash was cursory at best: "I know that it's being investigated by the Defense Department. Obviously, any time we lose life, it is a sad moment."

I think it's time for Bush put away the whole 'locker room banter' approach to press conferences.

In fact, the locker room analagy isn't even a fair one. Think about the last athlete you saw at a press conference after a tough game. The chances are pretty good that they were taking those reporters and their questions more seriously than Bush appears to take the White House Press Corps. It's pretty ridiculous when you think about it... Ben Roethlisberger of the Steelers is giving articulate and sincere answers to questions about his interceptions, meanwhile our President is shrugging off questions about Foreign Relations and Social Security like he's dealing with hecklers at the Comedy Cellar.

We are at war. Americans and Iraqi soldiers are dying every day. Is it too much to ask for a President who looks like he's taking things pretty damn seriously?

(On a brighter note, Bush did have a good line about immigration: "I want to remind people that family values do not stop at the Rio Grande River. People are coming to our country to do jobs that Americans won't do, to be able to feed their families.")

The press conference will be on again at 8 pm EST on C-SPAN.

Bob Novak Calls Bush's Inaugural Speech "Lunatic"

Fresh from the CNN transcript department:

SHIELDS: Bob Novak, did the president's address set an effective agenda for his second term?

BOB NOVAK, CAPITAL GANG: Well, not really, because the thing he's going to be dealing with on a day-to-day business, domestic policy, he just took care of in one paragraph. This was a very different kind of inaugural address. Usually, the inaugural is treated like a drama critic. You know, was the style good? Did -- was it inspirational? People on this one were saying, Well, what was he talking about? Did he really mean what he said, that we are going to eliminate tyranny from the face of the world? We're going to go all over Africa. We're going to go to our friends in Pakistan, in China, and -- and get them to be democrats? Well, that would be lunatic! We don't have the power. We don't have the authority.

Picture of the Day: Bush's Inaugural Address

I streamed Bush's speech over the internet today from the White House web site today, and something just seemed different about him. Finally I realized, call me crazy, maybe it's the fuzziness of the image quality, maybe I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, but I could swear that it looks like he's wearing some sort of bike helmet...

Good Speech by Joe Biden

I thought Joe Biden's closing remarks today at Dr. Rice's confirmation today were really good. I like Biden because he can be harshly critical without being confrontational, a skill that Barbara Boxer and John Kerry don't seem to have mastered yet. Biden can list a million things that someone did wrong, and even get all riled up, but he never seems to take any of it too personally.

I suppose I can understand the anger on the part of Kerry and Boxer, it is true that Rice has played a major role in some pretty terrible debacles, but still, I just question the political expediency of the whole 'witch hunt' approach to confirmation hearings. Why alienate yourself from the next Secretary of State before she has even unpacked her office supplies?

Anyway, since Biden's speech was so good I put it up on my site as an mp3. It's about 15 minutes long and it covers a lot of ground, from Iraq to neoconservatives to the plummeting dollar, with a lengthy football metaphor that even mentions the 'nickel defence.' And it's all delivered in Joe's patented "get your head in the game, kiddo" tone of voice. What's not to love?

(Also, just so you have a frame of reference, he refers a lot to how the Bush administration has been consistently overrepresenting the number of "trained" Iragi security forced there are. Rice says it's around 120,000; Biden says he's been to Iraq 3 times and talked to military people who say it's around 4,000.)

(note: it takes a while for the track to download after you click the links, but it will work eventually)

To listen to the speech click here.

And if listening to a 15 minute speech sounds too boring for you, I also made a version of the speech with lively music in the background.

update: For people looking for a more melancholy version of the Biden speech, I just added an Adagio for Strings version. Big ups Samuel Barber.

"Simone Weil": article by Susan Sontag

click picture for Susan Sontag's web site

This article was pretty interesting. It's from the first issue of the New York Review of Books, from 1963, and it's the first thing I've ever read by Susan Sontag. Definitely a little over-intellectual, and I know should expect that from the New York Review of Books, but still, this sentence almost made me vomit:

"In this sense, all truth is superficial; and some (but not all) distortions of the truth, some (but not all) insanity, some (but not all) unhealthiness, some (but not all) denials of life are truth-giving, sanity-producing, health-creating, and life-enhancing."

On the whole, though, I think she made some really good points. Her main point is that society tends to revere writers that have a bit of insanity in their prose ("It is mostly a matter of tone: it is hardly possible to give credence to ideas uttered in the impersonal tones of sanity.") From there she goes on to talk about how no one actually wants to live out the ideas of these writers, it just makes for good reading.

And then this line reminds me of the whole issue about how Bush's campaign rhetoric was basically a fairy tale:

"An idea which is a distortion may have a greater intellectual thrust than the truth; it may better serve the needs of the spirit, which vary."

I think that is a better way to look at how the election played out. Liberal people just want to say that half of the country is stupid, but that is just pointless whining. The truth is that Bush's image and message, however misleading, gave people something they were looking for in their lives. Millions of people have a very visceral love for him, and find his speaking problems endearing, his manner sincere, and his talk about freedom inspiring. To discredit the people who voted for him as merely "stupid" is to imply that it's not even worth investigating their motives. It's far better to say, "These are millions of good, hard-working people who sincerely believed that George Bush would be a better leader for their country. What did he do for them that Kerry didn't? What 'needs of the spirit' did the Bush campaign satisfy that the Kerry campaign didn't?"

good words from the article:
philistine: indifferent or hostile to art and culture
tendentious: biased
exegetical: related to explaining a text

"How Bush Really Won": an article by Mark Danner in NYRB

click picture for Mark Danner's web site

Since I'm studying for the GRE I decided to start reading The New York Review of Books more to try and pick up good words.

This article had three good words: contradistinction, shillyshallyer, and legerdemain. Contradistinction means what it sounds like, to define something in terms of how it contrasts with something else. A shillyshallyer is someone who waffles or procrastinates. Legerdemain means sleight of hand, an artful deception (from Old French leger de main, literally "light of hand").

The article gives a simple and convincing explanation for how Bush was able to pull off a victory with so many things going against him. This quote sums it all up:

"the facts did not matter... because [President Bush] was offering in their place a worldview that was whole, complete, comprehensible, and thus impermeable to statements of fact that clearly contradicted it."

In other words...

Bush's sales pitch is this: I'm a simple man who wants Americans to be safe and the world to be free, and I'll do whatever I gotta do in order to make it happen.

Kerry's sales pitch was centered on a litany of facts about the failings of Bush's presidency.

The problem is that complex information, however true, isn't as compelling as a simple storyline. Facts about Bush's mistakes don't put a dent in his fairy tale sales pitch because that song and dance isn't dependent on facts in the first place.

Wilco's Jeff Tweedy Gets Wall Street Journalized

I love Wall Street Journal etchings, and this one is a real gem...

New Senator of the Day: Tom Coburn (R - Oklahoma)

Tom Coburn was born in Casper, Wyoming in 1948. He was a manufacturing manager from 1970 to 1978 at Coburn Opticals in Virginia. Later, he attended and graduated from the University of Oklahoma Medical School, starting a family medicine and obstetrics practice in 1988. From 1994 to 2000 Coburn served three terms in Congress as a Representative for Oklahoma's 2nd Congressional District, garnering a reputation as a "conservative firebrand."

••

From an AP article on Coburn:

'On the death penalty, he said: "I favor the death penalty for abortionists and other people who take life."

He said he performed two abortions to save the lives of mothers who had congenital heart disease, but opposes the procedure in cases of rape.

"Under the mores we live under today, my lineage wouldn't exist," Coburn said, explaining that his great-grandmother was raped by a territorial sheriff.'

••

This is Coburn talking at a town hall meeting in Hugo, Oklahoma, from August '04:

"You know, Josh Burkeen is our rep down here in the southeast area. He lives in Colgate and travels out of Atoka. He was telling me lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is it that that's happened to us?"

click to hear audio of that quote (courtesy of atrios)

••

"My desire is not to be a U.S. senator. My desire is to change the Senate." Tom Coburn

Song of the Day: Savage Minuet

I took some clips of Michael Savage (conservative radio host) talking about the Indian Ocean Tsunami and put them to music (Dark Jazz, by DJ Cam). Click on the picture of him to listen...



(That really is a painting of Michael "Savage" from 1983. His real name is Michael Weiner and he used to hang out with Allen Ginsberg and Lawrence Ferlinghetti and write books about herbal remedies and planting trees. This article at salon.com tells the whole story.)

Companies that Advertise at Michael Savage's Web Site:

NewsMaxStore: 561-686-1165
Ionic Zone Air Cleaner: 1-866-526-1986
Swiss America Trading : 1-800-BUY-COIN



••• today's post is sponsored by Los Angeles Laundry Delivery & Pickup, now doing laundry delivery to USC and UCLA •••

Gonzo's Attorney General Confirmation Hearing

Alberto Gonzales is testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee.

I think Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) is scary. He would be great for playing a hit man in a Quentin Tarantino. Orrin "The Cleaner" Hatch. Catchy.

Now Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass) is chewing out Gonzales. He's really getting angry. This doesn't seem like the right setting for angry yelling like this. Especially because Gonzales has such a mild and likable demeanor, in my opinion at least. Just when you think you're sitting down to watch a friendly Attorney General confirmation hearing Ted Kennedy has to fly off the handle. Thanks Ted.

Now Sen. Joe Biden (D-Delaware) is up to bat. He's getting excited but he's reprimanding Gonzales in a more friendly way. He just used the word "malarkey." Points for that. And now this, "I love ya but you're not showing candor so far..."

It's funny because this whole hearing is like a bunch of fathers talking to a kid who just broke a lamp (i.e. Abu Ghraib). The Republicans (Orrin Hatch) are like, "Hey you're a good kid, and you know what, that lamp was bound to break sooner or later. Your mom left it on the edge of the table and it was ugly anyway. From now on when you're playing wiffle ball in the living room try to hit to the opposite field."

Ted Kennedy is the father who just loses it. "What the heck were you thinking playing wiffle ball in the living room!? And don't lie to me and say that your friend Rico did it. Where's my belt?"

Joe Biden is the father who's upset but keeps a good attitude. He's disappointed, he gives the kid a slap on the wrist, but then ends with a pep talk about doing the right thing in the future. "You know you shouldn't have done that... Come on kid you're better than that! We live two blocks from a little league field, just walk over there and play a little ball, my boy!"

Now Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina): "I think you weaken yourself as a country when you try to play cute with the law and become more like your enemy, instead of becoming more like how you want to be." (That's what he really said, that's not a continuation of the wiffle metaphor.) He's breaking the mold and being pretty critical of the Gonzales/Bush approach to torture. Gonzales just threw back an impotent refutation of Graham's point: "I respectfully disagree, we are not like our enemy at all." To which Graham just teed off: "We are not like our enemy; compared to Saddam Hussain, what we did was a good day. But we are not being like who we want to be."

Graham's approach is remarkably like Biden's, basically, "I like ya kid, but you screwed up."

So far, my opinion of Ted Kennedy has gone way down and my opinion of Lindsey Graham has gone way up.

Now Russ Feingold is up. This is a calm reprimand without anger or affection. "You screwed up kid. I'm going to Steak 'N Shake, see you in 30."

Kennedy's going nuts again.

Picture of the Day: I Can't Believe I Agree With This Guy

Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, says Bush should cancel his 9 inaugural balls and 3 "candelit dinners" and instead donate the 40 million dollars to tsunami relief efforts.

That is something that would really show the world that the United States cares about being part of the global community. This story is making news all over the world. It's in the Khaleej Times Online in the United Arab Emirates, and it appeared in the New Straits Times in Malaysia (but their link doesn't work anymore).

I would love Bush so much if he did this. Just once, why can't he do something that everyone would like?

Washington Journal 1/7/05 / Amazon Reviewer of the Day

On Washington Journal this morning T.R. Reid was talking about his new book, The United States Of Europe: The New Superpower and the End of American Supremecy.

The book looks interesting, but C.J. White (volney30656), an Amazon reviewer from Georgia, gave it one star (I WAS IN EUROPE RECENTLY, November 22, 2004). I am always a big fan of reviews in all capital letters, but C.J. isn't caps all the way- there is method to his madness. Some reviews are in lowercase, and at least one even switches from lowercase to all caps in the middle of a sentence (INTERESTING READ, October 2, 2004).

"JOE MCCARTHY SHOULD BE THE TRUE HERO NOT ROOSEVELT.........." - C.J. "Volney30656" White

Photo of the Day: Karl Rove and Barack Obama, Together at Last

I didn't photoshop this or do anything funny to it, I just think it's a striking image.

The Polarization of Television / Goodbye Crossfire

On Vaughn Ververs' update this morning on Washington Journal he talked about how CNN President Jon Klein is putting the kibosh on the show Crossfire. This is from Howard Kurtz's article on the matter:

"CNN/U.S. President Jonathan Klein sided yesterday with comedian Jon Stewart, who used a "Crossfire" appearance last fall to rip the program as partisan hackery. 'I think he made a good point about the noise level of these types of shows, which does nothing to illuminate the issues of the day,' Klein said in an interview. Viewers need 'useful' information in a dangerous world, he said, 'and a bunch of guys screaming at each other simply doesn't accomplish that.'"

But the fact of the matter is that Crossfire just wasn't getting good enough ratings, because other channels are doing the screaming louder and better. This parallels the whole change in daytime talk shows that occurred when the Jerry Springer show broke on the scene. Shows like Oprah couldn't compete with that kind of absurdity so they actually had to go in the other direction, towards a more sensitive, self-help oriented style of television.

So in a way, that could be Fox News' gift to the world, doing over-the-top partisan hackery better than anyone else, thereby forcing other stations to give up on that format and put on more sensible programming.

But that seems like a scary direction to me, because then the argumentative side of television is just going to focus even more on drama and less on substance. Then you will end up with a whole population of people getting their information from shows with almost no connection to reality. At least Crossfire was half-debate, half-professional wrestling.

And the polarization of television news could lead to the polarization of television viewers, which is something that we already kind of have. I mean, take a person who watches Fox News a couple hours a day and a person who watches C-SPAN a couple hours a day. Are those people even going to be talking the same language? Is there even going to be enough common ground for them to reasonably discuss the issues that America faces?

In a lot of ways, a conservative and a liberal that both watch C-SPAN probably have more in common than a conservative that watches C-SPAN and a conservative that watches Fox News.

I wonder what democracy would be like if everyone was well-informed.

Another thought: I am resigned to the fact that people screaming on television will tend to draw more viewers than people not screaming. I don't think CNN should abandon screaming as a format, I think they should just make the screaming more intelligent. Screaming and intelligence are not mutually exclusive. Imagine a boring biology teacher and one who is always screaming; while you will certainly be more entertained by the screaming bio teacher, it is quite possible that you could also learn more biology from him too.

What about a show where two pundits square off in a dramatic debate, yelling as much as they want, but then at the conclusion of the argument a panel of professors judge their performance, based on their logic and their use of facts. It would be just like a boxing match, where each round was scored based on how many blows were actually landed.

Yeah, that's a show I would watch! Because then you have the excitement of the confrontation added to the final consensus of experts in the field. Plus, as people watch the show more and more they will start to learn how to actually judge the merits of an argument. Someone please make this show. "Mental Boxing: Louder AND Smarter." Everyone would watch it. You could have a "winner stays on" approach where every day someone new gets a shot at the title. You could have "tag team" matches. You could have an "internet sidekick" who looks up facts for you while you're arguing. What's not to love? It would be the "Iron Chef" of political debate shows!

the comic genius of Amie's little brother

This is from the user comments section of ChristianAnswers.net's review of The Sponge Bob Squarepants Movie.

"This movie is degrading. I have a 4 year old brother who is in love with Sponge Bob and acts just like him. After watching the show my family was at a small restaurant having a good time when my little brother pulled down his pants howling with laughter. My parents were so appalled that Sponge Bob is no longer allowed."
   -Amie, age 17

Q & A, Episode Dos! Guest is Brian Williams

to watch the show click here

Again, this theme music is just so relaxing. I'm not even being sarcastic. I bet 10% of "Q & A" viewers fall into a blissful sleep before the show even starts, dreaming of Brian Lamb fanning them with a copy of the US Constitution.

Speaking of, Lamb is interviewing again, and the interview is in Brian Williams' office.

Williams just said that he is writing a book about the death of president Garfield, so I guess he must have a pretty legitimate knowledge of history. And now Williams is going into the details of the story. (Garfield was shot leaving Union Station to join his wife at the Jersey shore.)

I had no idea Brian Williams was such a geek. Good for him. I just assumed he was a sharp looking anchor guy. The book actually does sound really fascinating. Listen to Williams here:

"The story of Garfield's death involves really the invention of modern air conditioning. It involves Alexander Graham Bell. It involves complete strangers doing what just seemed to them to be the patriotic American thing and making his train ride to the Jersey shore, his last wish, more comfortable by stuffing straw and dirt under the train tracks wherever they could, by lining up along the train tracks as their president drove by. It involved 500 men pushing the train car up freshly laid track to the front door of this seaside inn in Elberon (ph), New Jersey. In a very dramatic final scene, where he only lived for a few days, but did get to taste the sea air he thought would have a restorative power."

Williams says it will be like the book "Isaac's Storm" in size, scope, and "gee whiz power." I've never heard of that book, so here's the Amazon link.

Wow, Williams is really selling his book well here. This is must see material for anyone who wants to know about the art of pitching a book. He's passionate about the subject matter and he knows exactly what makes the story interesting.

He just mentioned this Beschloss guy for the second time, this time between McCullough and Doris Kearns Goodwim, so I've got to google this guy. Here's a short bio. He probably met Williams at the annual Handsome Historians Luncheon.

Williams was friends with Ed Gillespie (chairman of the Republican National Committee)in college. It's amazing how big shots know each other like that.

Arggh. RealPlayer just crapped out again, now I have to reload the show again. In the meantime, I love how the slogan for "Q & A" is "Interesting People. Informative Conversations." Only C-SPAN could come up with such an undynamic motto. The word "informative" just doesn't have pizzaz. No business actually subject to market forces could ever have such a bland slogan. Imagine... "Rocco's Pizza: Delicious Food, Reasonable Ambience."

Ok, we're back. And, we're not back. Thanks RealPlayer. Awesome. The only good part about this is that I get to hear the theme song every time I reload the program. So it could be worse.

Ohhh, so Williams is from the Jersey shore! Yeah Jeeerrrsssaaaay!

Ok, RealPlayer just shut down again so I guess I am just going to read the transcript. This is a real low point in the evolution of C-Spantastic. I am not on a treadmill and I'm not even watching C-SPAN, on television or on my computer. At this point the web site should probably be called Transcriptarriffic. Or Lazybumtacular. Anyway, onward...

Williams never graduated from college. Interesting. I guess his obsession with keeping track of current events has more than compensated for this...

I made a deal with myself at age 14 never to let a day go by without finishing that day's newspaper, usually the "New York Times." When I come back from vacation, it's not uncommon that I'll tell the person who's bringing in the paper at our house to save them all and I'll sit down and get through every newspaper. It's just a thing I have. My biggest worry is that a fact will get by me, that there will be a fact in the ether as you speak of out there, that I wonÕt know about and I hate that feeling.

The fact that Williams is secretly a geek made me like him, and the fact that he is from Jersey added to that, but this is the line that has truly warmed my heart:

"I don't need more than two pairs of shoes. I'm not into shoes; my dad wasnÕt into shoes. I don't understand people who have a closet full of them."

The three papers delivered to Williams' house:

1) USA Today
2) Wall Street Journal
3) New York Times

Other periodicals he says he reads:

- The Weekly Standard
- Time
- Newsweek
- Claremont Review of Books
- New York Review of Books

I'm excited to check out the Claremont Review of Books, I've never heard of that.

Williams says he has called in to the Rush Limbaugh show. "I think it's my duty to listen to Rush."

Now Williams is just putting on a geek clinic. Amazing. Bask in the geekitude which follows...

LAMB: How many books do you read on average, I mean day to day?

WILLIAMS: Well I probably have five going at any one time and among them, presidential fact books, I'll reread a chapter on Chester A. Arthur for fun or to help myself go to sleep at night. And a lot of political nonfiction I will just read in a three-day sitting or over two plane flights. I'll keep one book in my briefcase. For the long time it was a book called "Cod," about the cod fish and its importance in the American economy. And that was a great piece of airplane reading.

My biggest fear in life is being on a plane with nothing to read. I look at these people who take the free magazine out of the seat back pocket and I shake my head and I say what did you not know about your day today that you werenÕt going to need reading material? I get shaky when I think about the prospect of a plane flight without a book.

That is just great stuff. Any book lover knows exactly what he is talking about.

It's breaking my heart that I'm reading the transcript of this and not seeing it.

He even says he flies Jet Blue with his family. Goodness. I wish I had a daughter so she could marry this man.

Here's his tip for picking a tie that will look good on television: look at it from about 10 feet away.

Williams just made a comment about Lyndon Johnson's jowls, which is interesting because my comment about Roger Ailes jowls drew complaints from 1moreslogger, a loyal C-spantastic reader

Okay, so that's the end. What a show! I can't wait to actually see it. I think Brian Williams is the Tony Robbins of the news industry. It's comforting to see someone who reads a lot actually succeed. With Bush getting a second term I was starting to get the feeling that reading books was actually harmful to one's chances at achieving worldly success. Like him or hate him, Dubya is not a "reader" and yet he's a political wonderboy. Anyway, God bless Brian Williams, new anchor of the NBC Nightly News and President of the Ambitious Bookworm Club.

Grumpy Amazon Reviewer of the Day: Jake FOGERTY

Click here to see Jake's body of work.

"You know what "deja vu" refers to, but what about the meaning of "vu deja"? Vu deja can occur when you go to a new place for the first time and you know, that you have never been there before." Jake Fogerty

At first it looks like Jake is going to hate everything, but not so. Wait until you see his review of "I am Sam," where he passionately defends this movie against people who give it a poor review. Of course, Jake's more critical reviews are admittedly his best work, and have a more comprehensive, poetic feel to them (see: Badder Santa: Bad is Only One Way to Describe This Flick). One of my favorite things about Jake's reviews is his tendency to compliment a musician he has just given a one-star review to. After his review of Johnny Cash's America III (Give Me a Break!, Oct. 30, 2000), Jake says, "Love you Mr. Cash. You were one of the best..." Other highlights are Jake's extensive coverage of the "Pickin on" series of bluegrass cover discs, especially his review of "Pickin on U2" (You Two, Will Agree! August 13, 2001).

Bush's response to tsunami = sub-par

I really do want to give Bush a chance, but 50,000 people have died and he doesn't even want to leave his ranch, much less stop "clearing brush and bicycling." It's enough to drive a person crazy.

Can't you picture the history books in 2030: "The most effictive period of George W. Bush's presidency began on June 12, 2006, the day he finished clearing the last of the brush at his Texas estate. With his time and energy now freed to focus on political matters, Pres. Bush showed an almost preternatural skill for stewarding the nations of the world towards a peaceful and productive co-existence."

In regard to Bush's lack of a public response to the tsunami, White House spokesman Trent Duffy said, "The president wanted to be fully briefed on our efforts. He didn't want to make a symbolic statement about 'We feel your pain.'" That is just garbage. Pure garbage.

How would Americans have felt if other world leaders decided to stay at their vacation home after 9/11 instead of publicly expressing their sympathy and support. Imagine if Gerhard Schroeder had decided to remain cloistered in some mansion in the German countryside, busily mowing his lawn and making bratwurst while his aids told the press, "Chancellor Schroeder believes it would be manipulative and maudlin to express his sympathy at this time."

Q & A, the first episode!! guest is Roger Ailes, CEO of FOX

This is the first episode of Q & A. I'm watching it online, if you want to see it click here and then click on the "watch program" link.

Wow, first of all, this theme song is really relaxing. Listening to it, I picture myself being woken up at sunrise by a beautiful maiden carrying a tray of hot pancakes.

And Brian Lamb is hosting? That's a surprise. I guess the end of Booknotes just means that he doesn't have to interview authors anymore.

The guest is Roger Ailes, Chairman & CEO of Fox News, and he has a pair of jowls to die for. [NOTE: I have removed a sentence here about jowls, sports bras, jogging, and pastry chefs that offended my father, P. "Bam Bam" Bana.] Now I feel bad about making fun of Roger. If you're out there Roger, feel free to make fun of me because I get a rash between my thighs when I walk more than 7 miles on a treadmill. Not even spraying PAM on my legs helps.

"Hate is something that you have to get over in your life... I can't think of anybody I hate." That's a nice sentiment. I give Rog credit for saying something like that.

Rogelio just dodged one of Lamb's patented 'what is your evidence for what you just asserted' questions. Look at this exchange...

LAMB: What evidence did you have at that school that the teachers did not like America?

AILES: Everything is negative. Everything is about -- look, 95 percent of our people are working, the other 5 percent are basically pretty well taken care of by the government. Health care is not bad here. Bill Clinton did all right under it. Most people who want surgery don’t go to Canada, they try to come here. This is a country where everybody is trying to get in and nobody is trying get out.

So it just occurs to me that some of that ought to be taught in context. Not that we don’t have problems, not that we don’t have deep problems in our cities, poverty and some other things, but this is the society that has cured and will continue to cure many of those problems. And I think that the context of all that has to be taught. And I don’t see it being taught very often.

LAMB: Mr. Ailes, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Okay, so that last part is from Billy Madison, but all of Ailes answer to the question is taken from the transcript word for word.

First of all, his answer does not contain anything that even comes close to being "evidence." And secondly, just because America is doing pretty well compared to the rest of the world does not mean that we should all just pat ourselves on the back and not get too upset about our failings.

A country (and an individual) should not judge themselves based on how their neighbors are doing, they should judge themselves based on their potential. Michael Jordan never said, "Well, I only scored 28 points tonight, but that's still more than most players usually score."

The question isn't, "Is the employment rate in the United States higher than it is in other countries?" The question is, "Are hard working Americans at the bottom of the social ladder being treated as fairly as hard working Americans at the top of the ladder?" The question isn't, "Is America's health care system better than Canada's?" The question is, "Is America's health system as good as it can possibly be?"

Mr. Ailes knows this well enough. He loves to remind people that he started out as a ditch digger, and it is clear as day that he is not the type of person to ask himself, "Well, how am I doing compared to other people who started out as ditch diggers?"

And this spicy little exchange about Ken Auletta shows that Ailes isn't as devoid of hate as he seems to think he is:

LAMB: In a recent "New Yorker" piece, Ken Auletta wrote that you've never worked in news, and I wondered if he...

AILES: Coming from an old Democratic consultant, that was an interesting comment.

LAMB: Well, I...

AILES: That's what he did for a living, except he lost his races, I won mine, but...

Easy tiger! On side note, I wonder what races Ailes won. (Update: he was a consultant for Nixon, Reagan, and Bush the Elder.)

This next quote is Ailes at his best. I agree with him here, and I have a feeling that it's insights like these that have helped him succeed in the news industry:

It's what I used to call the "orchestra pit theory of politics." Two guys on a stage, one guy jumps up and says, I've got the solution to the problems in the Middle East. Other guy jumps up and falls in the orchestra pit. Who do you think's going to be on the front page of the paper? Who's going to lead the evening news? The guy laying on the bass drum.

Brian Lamb just asked Ailes how long he will stay in the news business and Ailes said, "As long as I'm having fun." And he seemed pretty sincere about it.

Hahah, this Ailes line is kind of funny:

I mean, focus groups, you go to a mall, you get 12 people who need $40 and somebody to talk to, and then you try to get them to explain how to do your job. That strikes me as pathetic.

I don't really agree with him there, but I am amazed that he has done as well as he has with that kind of attitude. Because really, what is a television audience but a huge focus group? You are eventually going to let 200 million people tell you how to do your job, why is it so unreasonable to see if 12 people can give you an insight into how those 200 million are going to react.

One thing that is striking about Ailes is that he seems to have a lot of faith in Americans. He says things like, "The public understands reality," and "The American people are very smart... and to underestimate them is a mistake." Even if he isn't entirely sincere, I give him credit for being savvy enough to look like he isn't paternalistic in his views of the common man.

Interestingly, this H.L. Mencken quote, which expresses the exact opposite opinion, ends with what many people would see as a perfect description of Fox News:

No one in this world, so far as I know... has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plainpeople.
The mistake that is made always runs the other way. Because the plain people are able to speak and understand and even, in many cases, to read and write, it is assumed that they have ideas in their heads, and an appetite for more. This assumption is folly. They dislike ideas, for ideas make them uncomfortable. The tabloids, seeking to force such things upon them, will inevitably alarm them and lose their trade. The journalism of the future--that is, the mob journalism--will move in the direction that I have indicated.

Also, Ailes says that when he left NBC to come to Fox, 82 people resigned and came to work for him at Fox. That is pretty impressive. I'm not convinced that most of those people didn't just feel like it was the best thing for their career, but I'll give Ailes the benefit of the doubt.

Wow, Ailes worked as a debate coach for Reagan. That's interesting.

And he was friends with Bob Squire, who was a big time liberal consultant, so that's interesting. He wrote the obituary for Squire in Time magazine.

Rogelio puts a big emphasis on how television personalities have to "get through the screen," as in, have a presence that makes the viewer feel engaged. That's a great concept.

The rest of the show has a lot of good stories that made me like Ailes more than I did at the halfway point of the show. I would recommend this show to anyone that just assumes that the CEO of Fox News must be some psycho conservative bastard. If anything, he comes off as an interesting iconoclast in the media industry with an uncanny sense of what works in television.

funny picture link: sp?

(Somehow I didn't catch this story until yesterday, so if you've already seen it I apologize. If not, you are in for a treat.) This picture is from the White House Conference on the Economy. That's Bush on the left and Joshua Bolton, Director of the Office of Management and Budget, on the right.

In all fairness, at first I didn't notice that "challanges" was spelled wrong. But still, when a team of people messes up on a Power Point slide they know thousands of people will see, it makes you wonder what kind of ridiculous errors they are making on projects they know will receive little or no public attention. At first I thought that picture was hysterical, but now I'm starting to feel like it's equal parts funny and sad.

Here something to cheer people up, the full list of Andy8407's Amazon reviews. He's Amazon reviewer ranking is currently 3753, and his use of capital letters and eclectic subject matter will warm your heart. Plus, only 1 in 24 people found his review of "The Golden Girls - The Complete First Season" helpful, so I think he could use some support.

Picture of the Day: He's No Fran Drescher

When I first heard about the scandal that caused Bernard Kerik to withdraw his name for the post of Secretary of Homeland Security, I thought the whole matter was blown out of proportion. But that was before I saw what his "former housekeeper and nanny" looked like.




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dj cee-span / if a bill got an attitude...

Yo! C-SPAN is playing the classical song sampled on
"Look at this Face" by Handsome Boy Modeling
School. Sweet! Any song with Chris Elliott in it has me at hello.

I wish there was a C-SPAN 4 that would play rap songs during the
interstitial sequences. I think that would get more young people
interested in the political process. Or maybe politicians could start
juicing up their speeches with rap slang. Rep. Duncan "Hines" Hunter
could be like, "Mr. President, unless we can ensure this intelligence
bill will not interfere with the military chain of command, we need to
drop it like it's hot."

(Oh, by the way, the Republican who was talking about renewable energy
was Craig "Mack" Thomas, from Wyoming, not Gordon "Lonnie" Smith.)

12/7 Senate Jam Session, cutting back on treadmill action

This has been a pretty interesting session. Byron "Allen" Dorgan, a
Democrat, just finished talking about protecting American industry
against the exportation of jobs- something I don't entirely agree with
because I think you should worry about people having jobs in other
countries too. And to be honest, I care more about a fourteen year-old
in China that has to work as a prostitute than I do about some factory
worker in North Dakota that can't afford cable. I mean, I care about
both of them, and it's a tragedy that anyone has to live without cable,
but if I had to pick one to help first I'm sticking with the adolescent
Chinese sex worker.

And then some Republican Senator who's name I missed (Gordon Smith
maybe?) just mentioned the importance of alternative and renewable
energy sources, so props to him. So this has been a great bipartisan
session for me.

Now they are playing classical music while the Senate gets ready to
take care of the intelligence bill. I think C-Span should have a little
caption that tells what classical song they are playing. Why not, you
know?

Also, I have (temporarily) subtly modified the premise of this blog, in
that instead of walking on a treadmill while watching C-SPAN, I now eat
fried eggs. All the sweating was getting to me, and I think the eggs
are good for my skin.

The final episode of Booknotes!

The guest is Mark Edmundson, the author of "Why Read?" He is a professor of English at the University of Virginia.

Nice, now they are showing a clip from a tour of Shelby Foote's house. He was the guy with the southern accent from the Civil War show on PBS. Foote is saying that when he has a stretch of free time he rereads Proust. I think he must be talking about "The Remembrance of Things Past" but I'm not sure. He showed the back cover of the book, where he signs the date every time he finishes reading it. Damn, he has read it 9 times. It's 3000 pages.

Edmundson on Thoreau, "There is no writer who knows more about the perils of consumerism."

He just gave a good defense of allowing students to say racist and homophobic things in class. He said that he thinks a lot of right-wing Rush Limbaugh type conservatism comes from the fact that students don't feel comfortable saying those type of things in class, especially because teachers and professors tend to be liberal. So what happens is that those ideas just fester because they never get a chance to see the light of day. I think that's a good point. In a lot of ways it is probably better to encourage people put to their offensive opinions in the field of discussion sooner rather than later.

Interesting, this guy says he usually reads lying down. Also, he is wearing a leather blazer.

He just said his son is the best blues guitar improvisor that he knows, because his son just "lets it fly," and that this inspires him to be more improvisational when he writes. So that's a neat idea, that a father could admit to being inspired by his son.

Brian Lamb is so straightforward and sans bullshit its amazing. Ha, which is funny, because he just asked a question about why authors throw in phrases from other languages that a lot of readers won't know. He was basically implying that authors just do that to show how smart they are. But I just threw that in because there was a kid in my high school who used to say "sans" ("without" in French) and it would always crack me up. "Dude, I'm sans paper, can you lend me a piece."

Now Edmundson is saying that the vast majority of students feel like politics is a big sham and that every politician is the same as the next. Which is interesting, because that's exactly what my younger brother, a junior in college, says. And it is just too skeptical a view for my taste. I know that there is a lot of bullshit in politics, but there is no denying that a lot of important things get accomplished through politics. To dismiss the whole thing as a sham is to consciously reject one of the most effective avenues for positive social change.

When you think about it, the people who think politics is a sham usually think that is because they think that politicians are drunk on power and corporate money. But both of those things prove exactly how crucial politics is. Those "corrupt" men and women wouldn't want those positions if they didn't actually provide genuine power; and corporations wouldn't give all that money if it didn't actually influence things in the direction they wanted. So it is extremely counterproductive for young people who are skeptical of politics to refuse to interest themselves in it, because by doing so they cede all that influence to the very people they are complaining are corrupt.

So I guess the upshot is, it's okay to think politics is a sham, but that should make you more interested in following it, not less. Its not good policy to turn your attention away from the parts of life that are riddled with immorality simply because those parts of life are ugly to look at.

Great clip of Cornell West: "If you are really going to live life intensely then something in you aught to die every day, some bad habit, some pretension..."

Another great clip of Milton Friedman, talking about how "well meaning people who want the best for the world often make choices that have the opposite effect," an idea which he is taking from a book by F.A. Hayek called "The Road to Serfdom." That book sounds sweet.

Wow, so that is the end of Booknotes. I can't believe it just ended like that. 800 episodes, and no sappy montage, no "I hope you had the time of your life" by Green Day. Not even a final statement by Brian Lamb. It's pretty awesome when you think about it. There couldn't have been less drama.

One thing I love about Booknotes is the way Brain Lamb asks questions like "What town were you born in?" and "Where did you go to high school?" Questions like these make you realize that in most interviews people are treated purely in terms of what they are famous for. Writers are asked deep questions about language and art and style; an athlete is asked about what it's like to have thousands of people cheering for her, or to sit on the bench during a big game. But when Brian Lamb asks someone something like "Where were you born?" he is putting the spotlight on their common humanity. They cease to be a star or a pundit on a plane apart from everyday people. And that is something you almost never see in the media, because it is exactly the extraordinary qualities of people that makes viewers tune in. Media outlets have a vested interest in creating superstars, and conversely, don't really stand to benefit from treating people like typical human beings. So good people are made to look better than they are, and bad people are made to look worse. So god bless C-SPAN and Brian Lamb for having the guts to dwell on the ordinary, and for making an effort to show that famous people are human beings too.

12/1 Washington Journal

We're in the middle of open phone lines, and that was two psycho callers in a row. Back-to-back dingers, baby, Conseco and McGuire style. Those two ladies were the bash brothers of politics-loving nutso spinsters.

If this continues C-SPAN is going to need a new phone line, just for psycho people. They could get rid of the independent line, or at least make independents share a line with crazy people. Steve Scully could be like, "Okay now, remember the number is 202-628-0205 for people who support President Bush, 202-727-0002 for people who support the Democrats, and 202-628-0184 for independents and people who are completely off their rocker."

I'm going to start keeping track of which line the crazies use the most. It's got to be either the Republican or the Democrat line, because being moderate just doesn't seem to jive well with being mentally unbalanced. "Oh, Frank? He's crazy as a goddamn loon, but politically he's pretty middle of the road."

post script

I jogged another mile while watching the head of the Motion Picture Association talk, so that's 5.8 miles for the day. And I did that mile in 10 minutes, which I think is the first time in my life I've ever run a mile in less than 14 minutes. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Picture of the Day: Priorities

money for Nasa for 2005 = 16.2 billion dollars

money for world aids for 2005 = 2.8 billion dollars

Yeah, a lot of my neighbors are sick and need help, but I've already budgeted most of my money for the flying car I'm building in my garage.

(4.71 miles)

Photo of the Day: Smokin Sensi

Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner (R - Wisc) takes time off from protesting the new intelligence-overhaul bill to accept the Vibe lifetime achievement award.